I’m a Good-natured Realist! What about you?

I got this “test” from Apple’s blog. Took it and it’s true! Described me well Ü Read on and hopefully you’d take the test yourself …

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Good-natured Realists are warm-hearted, helpful personalities. They do their work conscientiously and have a pronounced organising talent. They often feel they are committed to traditional values. The family in particular is extremely important to Good-natured Realists. Their greatest pleasure is making themselves useful and taking care of other people. But they do not like pushing themselves to the fore; they prefer to fulfill their tasks out of the limelight. Good-natured Realists are real workaholics; they are very reliable and nothing is too much for them when it is a question of completing a project. Thoroughness, conscientiousness and sense of duty are their strongest points. They prefer established and familiar situations to new and unknown situations.

In dealing with others, Good-natured Realists are considerate and obliging; they are always happy to put aside their own requirements in the interest of their family and friends. Their home is mostly very well cared-for, cosy and tidy. Their perfectionism on the one hand and their aversion to delegating tasks on the other hand often lead to them taking on too much both professionally and privately. They cannot stand discord; conflicts make them very unhappy. One could almost describe them as being harmony-addicted - and this sometimes leads them to strongly neglecting themselves and their own wishes because they are unable to bring themselves to put up a fight.

Good-natured Realists dream of a stable and trusting relationship for life. Marriage and family are very important to them. They take care of their partner attentively and lovingly and put up with a lot for a harmonious relationship. They are also loyal and reliable friends. However, they can be very hurt if their interpersonal commitment is taken for granted for too long.

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Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, practical, emotional, planning, tradition-conscious, good-natured, self-sacrificing, caring, devoted, friendly, loyal, considerate, reliable, conscientious, loving, quiet, reserved, modest, helpful, objective, hard-working, warm-hearted, communicative, painstaking, altruistic

These subjects could interest you

cooking, animals, family, music, trekking, camping, hiking, craftwork, nature, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual matters, meditation

Back to Reality

A week has past from the trip and the “fever” that I acquired from it.

Posted my photos in Multiply and as days passed it seemed hard for me to sort out the photos and files for personal archiving and for re-posting to those other social websites.

Other projects wanted to outdo the other. As if fighting to get my attention, well, my priority actually… from re-doing a box diecut, re-sizing a countertop display and digging up archived file for a quite old project just to name a few

The Bangkok video greeting setup for the client seemed to be working since I don’t receive any emails, IMs or SMS from Gian on inquiries or problems on it. That’s a good sign Ü But I remind myself on each day that ends, videos to animate accumulates :-S

No word from Ten and I feel a bit sad that Put didn’t reply in my messages through SMS and MSN

A sign that everyone’s busy. Everyone’s back on their individual lives.

Reality.

I have a couple to things in mind to blog. Both has something to do with Bangkok and my trip there. And some, well, quite personal. But I sort of lost the interest of writing them. I don’t know. Lately, I just feel being slowed down and held back.

Sigh.

I Almost Missed This One…

Repeating a post of this strip because…

I dedicate this comic strip to my dear friend Gian and (again) to my kumpareng Myles… as the Charlie Brown(s).

May your Lucy(s) be happy in making you miserable or hurting you, BUT may their conscience bombard them one way or another.

As another person said… “Ang karma ngayon, FedEx na. Door to door delivery, may next day service pa!” Well, the Lucy(s) karma might not be bestowed upon tomorrow on them but surely it will come.

And as I remind you and myself as well…

Blessed are they who suffer persecution for justice sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Remind yourself you are the Charlie Browns and who are the Lucys:

Charlie Brown is the lead star of the Peanuts comic strip. And in every movie, strip or story, if there’s a lead there’s the villain, kontrabida or simply put, those who wanted the spotlight to be theirs. They are the pa-cute, papansin, the pathetic, the frustrated lead star.

Imagine, you are the Charlie Brown, lead role bestowed on you because of your character and the Lucys, well, will always be the same as they are created to highlight more of your character

Go, Charlie Browns!!!

That’s life… in a comic strip

Second Time Around

They always say that love is lovelier the second time around… can that saying be also applied to a place you fell in love with?

Tonight is my flight to Bangkok. The city I fell in love the first time I’ve been there. I’m excited and at the same time scared as mentioned in one of my previous entry. While I was in the cab off to the airport, I don’t feel well that as if I have some morning sickness, like I want to vomit. And my stomach was somewhat contracting when I saw the lights of NAIA.

Why am I having the jitters when it’s my second time in the land of smiles? I don’t recall having the same feeling during my first trip there. Perhaps it’s what happening today that really quite affected me. I had to finish some projects before I leave for Bangkok and concentrate most of my energy and strength there. I even had a few burst of kasungitan that my team got affected. Me being Miss Minchin again Good thing we are all ok before I went to the airport.

Haaayyy… what pressure can do to a person. It builds you or eats you up…

*whispers to self* Lord, please make things better. Give me a clear mind to be alert, think things with preciseness and physical strength to endure and cope with the challenges that may come our way. Thank you.

Now my flight is being called. I guess we are about to board in a few minutes. Next entry, I’ll be breathing Bangkok air Ü

Land of Smiles, get ready for Batgirl

Is It the Heat?

It’s really getting worse… well, the weather for one. We all know that it’s the global warming. Aside from being unpredictable, the heat is really getting into each and everyone. Just like today, the heat is unbearable…

Humans mostly can bear the heat at some point but the machines, the breakdown… give in. KABLAM! Just like that.

(Did I just said “kablam”? Oh my goodness…)

I have been wearing a bandana for the past days. As a proof…

I look like a woman about to wash clothes by the river (God knows I wanted to wear a tapis in this heat!). Well, for those who don’t have any idea what I am talking about, there was a time in our history that women wash clothes by the river captured by Philippine National Artist Amorsolo. Back then, the rivers are all clear and “clean”. I wear bandana, the first bandana-wearing situation that is not for an outdoor activity, to keep my hair away from my face. And somehow it relieves heat in one way or another.

So, what can be ANOTHER way to contradict the heat?

Listen to Frank Sinatra’s Let It Snow song! (Other renditions may apply)

Unfortunately, I can’t embed the tune. Funny as it may be, but yes, I’m listening to it continuously in other renditions and my teammates are laughing out loud… one is even asking for her early Christmas gift

Psyching oneself… dreaming of that cold place. Can you blame me if I somehow go back in time and imagine myself again in this setup?…

I’m full-clothed for the cold weather there, if it’s only possible to unclothed for the heat, but of course, it’s not the Adam and Eve time that one can run around naked without shame. But if the heat continues this way, I won’t be surprised if that biblical time would be back in fashion, minus the Eden of luscious greens. If earth or I myself will still be alive if that comes…

I pray that my ever dependable iMac would stand the heat and won’t breakdown. (please, please, please…)

So is it the heat? Hallucinations are caused by heat. Well, can you consider this situation SEMI-hallucination?

Wish I can submerge myself in a pile of snow to cool myself… just like this…

(that’s my niece, Noelle, playing with me…)

It is indeed the heat.

Emotions

It’s been a roller coaster ride these pat few weeks. Again, I’ve been missing lots of chance to blog topics, events, happenings or even ideas that came to me. Sigh.

Perhaps it’s just all work for me. Well, it’s my life… I chose it then I have to deal with it. Just like a dear friend who ever one notices that he “kills” himself with work, his reason is so he has no time to “think”. That might have worked for him, for me it doesn’t. And I worry. Not just for what’s happening to me, much of what is happening to him… and where in the world is he?! Gahd! Even his boss-friend is looking for him.

I’m sad and shameful for being a disappointment to my dear friend and almost an older sister to me. Despite that we communicated recently via email and SMS, I can’t deny that she’s really angry at me. It is only to her that I am lost of words to say after I apologize. It’s really my fault not doing her favor which she asked nicely early this month. I have no excuse of being irresponsible again. I don’t know if she’ll be able to read this, I’m really sorry and I do fear you when you get angry. I feel really shameful, awkward and scared.

Though things can run smoothly with a bit of side trips here and there to entertain myslef once in a while. But it just hits my nerve when some people are so insensitive and irresponsible. He’s irritating!!! It’s hard for me to stay in the gray area. It’s just always black or white for me. I’m really disappointed on what has happened with the group. But it’s beyond my control and as part of the team I had to deal with it and respect the decision of our leader. I was just told to hold on to where I am, I wish, no I PRAY that God give me further patience and ignore people who seemed to think of themselves alone. May God keep him away from me because I fear myself of what I am capable of when I snap.

It’s a good thing that I have friends outside of the work circle. If not for them I might have broken down or snapped and give in. releasing emotional (baggages?) rants and raves to friends help a lot. And a few random or unplanned trips really, really helped. Ate Marj and Jose dragged me off my work seat and brought me with them 2 weekends ago to Subic to breathe non-polluted, stress-free and workless air. Sea breeze… aaaahhhhh… simple pleasures I suppose. Considered that as my initial summer getaway. A preparation or a kickoff of my getaways (hopefully). Not able to swim with them due to some “alien” encounters but I am relieved and hapy that weekend. And they were able to see my humble home in Bulacan and meet my Nanay. Oh! Onyx, their black labrador… she’s such a darling to comfort me too… which reminds me, I still have to blog that trip.

Time. Such an expensive leisure? Grammar. Argh!

The last weekend was my great escape to work and city-life that’s been so stressful and so much in rush. It was quite quick though and butt did hurt from hours of sitting in a bus. But it’s so worth it. Expect it to be blogged after I sorted that photos (and I wish it would be soon too). I guess me being from a province too much appreciated the scenic views of Quezon rather than my own place which now have flyovers, malls and fastfood chains. I was really like a tourist taking pictures of anything and everything. I don’t mind looking stupid. I was really happy at that time. As if I’m like a dog being unleashed from it’s collar chains.

Have you ever felt as if you are being chased and been running quite long and yet you don’t seemed to reach the end? Well, that’s how I felt the whole week last week at work. Lots of surprises, expected events that I should have been prepared for. It’s nothing for some but I feel it’s really tiring when everytime I get home there are times I missed brushing my teeth out of sleepiness and tiredness. The degree of being busy and ability to handle stress do depend on each one of us on how we deal with it. It’s one of those subjective topics. I don’t compare so don’t compare mine to anyone elses. No one will win.

Sleep was my mere escape and rest but somehow it’s deprived. Thank God the rush is a bit (take note, a bit NOT totally) over but I feel there’s more to come. It’s the life a choose, again I have to deal with it.

It was so fast. Unnoticed to me until it’s over or passed all these happened in less than 2 weeks? How many emotions have I confronted? It’s just as far as I could remember. And I am blogging aimlessly again. Just typing away whatever thoughts I have.

An emotional release perhaps.

Stung

It’s hard to accept that after all the things you do, all the sacrifices and all the hopes you have, in the end still the one thing you wanted to have can’t be yours…

I cried (again) and felt how Betty feels (episode 16, season 2)… this hopeless romantic lady got carried away again.

(Scene/Photo above) Betty tried to smile for Henry but I can relate that it’s hard to maintain that smile and pretend you’re okay when you know you are hurting inside

Sigh.

There are things we really know, the truth that we ignore. Denial. Because it’s easier to dream and aspire because of the hopes of happiness, of the happy ending just like in the fairy tales or in romantic movies. It was ideal.

But in actuality, you won’t get what that very least you wanted. I wouldn’t get what I was hoping for…

Reality does bite.

Donna’s Wedding

I just came in from my dear friend back in high school. Let’s call the event a sort of reunion for own small group. Prior to Donna’s wedding was Renee’s which I missed due to work duties. (Really sorry, Renee. My loss. Heard it was a blast.)

Oh, by the way, all of them are all getting married and talked about details and planning. Again, I am left out. But it’s my fault…

Just thankful I tried to be useful (somehow) in the wedding. Borrowed Myles’ Canon 20D and fire the trigger away. But despite my face behind the viewfinder, I really couldn’t stop some tears to drop. I worry about the makeup Gou did on me but still… gahd! I’m such a cry baby.

ARGH.

Can’t help but became quite emotional about it. Donna is my closest among the four of us, no doubt about that. We lost touch sometime around the sophomore days of our college years and we took the same degree in different universities. We sort of regroup at least once a year but being the renegade member for being late or worst the always the no-show I am the odd man out nowadays. It’s my fault. A price to pay when I’m not constantly in touch.

These are just some of the initial photos I got. Mostly my faves. Will still be selecting decent ones since I didn’t use any flash on the photos I’ve taken, some are blurred due to movement of subject or due to my hands shaking and trying to hold my composure of not sobbing loudly.

The Bride awaits…

Me to self: “‘Danda ng friend ko…” (teary-eyed…)

Dong (the Bride) with her sister, Aya, the Maid of Honor

Either she’s checking out her bouquet, or she’s texting?

There she is…

And she walks towards the altar… *sniff*

Awww… the best kiss photo I got…

To check out some more photos, you can click here.

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A short (but sweet) message for the newly weds…

To Alex… aka Rudy Fernandez (‘cause he really looks like him) aka Da Boy, I’m glad to know that Dong is loved by a good man. We still have to get to know each but for now, I’m happy that you two are together. Like what I told you, take good care of my friend, ok? Love her very much… kasi alam ko… basta, ‘yun na!

To Dong aka Bulilit to my Nanay, you know I’m happy that you got married. You know that from my reaction when you called me up to inform me that you are getting married. 5 years you and Alex are together… where the hell was I? I wish that despite you and the other ladies are already married and is getting married (hi, Karina) I hope you guys won’t stop looking for me and trying to drag my butt off my work seat to meet up. I don’t know if you noticed that I kept on hugging you in every chance that I can had from the eve of your wedding day till the time we said goodbye at the reception… I’m really going to miss the makulit, funny, OC and mataray na Donna…

Now you know why I really declined to be part of the entourage… not just I’m not really comfortable wearing a tube type dress, but it’s more of me being a cry baby. And writing this now, I’m still crying! So imagine my mascara will be ruined then… hahaha.

I miss you guys… specially you, Dong.

Treaded A Thin Line

What happened last night could have been a follow through of what happened, the other night (as the stated in my previous entry). What happened last night made me think to that extent that it gave some verification to myself… my worthiness.

I may have entered into a situation that should have been avoided from the start. Never mix water w/ oil, if I may say so. Shake it vigorously, the substance may look mixed up but at the end it will still separate. Avoid hassle of cleaning it up.

Wounds may heal for some time and most of it leave scars… to remind us of where it came from and why we had that wound. I guess now, verifying where I stand and trying to understand certain situations and people lead me to understand myself and honestly, knocked the helmet off of my head.

I came to my senses. I am not so love struck that I have lost my sense of reality and self-worth.

I still have a little something of myself left.

(Thank you)

Learned a lot here. I wish I’ll be reminded of the events I’ve been through. Lessons are quite learned and remembered specially when your trip face flat on the floor. What matter is how you get up, straighten your clothes and brush the dirt off and move on. It hurts. I can’t deny that. But that feeling is so worth it. At lest it has some use. Charge it to experience, as they say. What didn’t kill you makes you stronger… TRUE enough.

I’ve changed a lot. Some doesn’t like it, because it didn’t favor them. Others said it was good. But for me, I feel better. I just feel sad and afraid that I may have lose someone. But it’s up to him. I’ve always made it a point that I’m always there for him but right now, I just have to leave some for myself. I have proven my loyalty but it doesn’t mean I have abandon him. I’ll always be here as a friend. He should have known that from the start.

No hard feelings.

Sa Halagang One Hundred Pesos…

This might have been my daring entry ever about me… doing this in the event of helping myself to move on…

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Ngayong gabi na talaga (actually, umaga na) ang pinaka-sign sa mga signs na hinihingi ko. Sobrang denial na talaga ako at madami ng signs in different angles at excuses ang pinalipas ko. Hopeful kasi ako. Wala na kong lusot. Ngayong gabi (umaga na nga!) dapat tapusin ko nang kabaliwan, katangahan at kagagahan ko sa buhay….

Hindi lang batok o sampla ang inabot ko noon. Pero sige, bira pa rin ako. Umasa ang gaga. Nangudngod na ako. Sinubsob na nga yata ang mukha ko sa kahihiyan, deny pa rin ako. Masarap kasing kiligin at mangarap ng gising. ‘Yung napapangiti ka lang out of the blue kahit mukha kang tanga. Pero ngayong gabi (umaga na nga, kahit wala pang araw) may audience ang katangahan ko. Sobra-sobrang sign na talaga…

… na hindi n’ya ako gusto.
… na hindi ako ang ideal girl n’ya siguro.
… na hindi na dapat ibalik ‘yung aspiration ko sa kanya.
… na hindi ko makikita sa kanya ‘yung signs na hinahanap kong magiging indicator na may chance.

Sa halagang P100.00, natauhan ako. Sa simpleng pusta, eto ako ngayon nagsusulat at isisiwalat LAHAT ng tinago ko. Sa tawa at joke na akala ng lahat eh joke at ‘yun lang, may laman pala. Totoo na all jokes are half meant.

Binigay ko nga ng buo… walang binalik sa akin kahit konti… walang sukli, walang natira. Abunado pa ako!

Hindi ko naman binibilang noon. ‘Di pinapansin na halos wala na nga pala akong itira sa sarili ko. Sa bawat chance na nakikita ko s’ya wala akong masabi. Ako na kay daldal at ‘di nauubusan ng sasabihin at ikukwento. Tumitiklop ako sa kanya. Sa mga pagkakataong nakikita kong hirap s’ya o malaman ko lang na pinagkakaisa s’ya, wala akong magawa o maipayo man lang. Gusto ko lang s’yang yakapin in the hopes na matatangal kong lahat ng hirap at pagod n’ya. Pero hanggang doon lang ako. Sa isip ko lang ‘yun. Minsan dinadaan ko sa biruan between friends. Pero sa totoo, kung sa hug ko mawawala lahat ng hirap n’ya, gagawin ko talaga…

Ang baduy ‘noh o nakakatawa, pero seryoso…

(Thought balloon: ‘Lika rito… hug kita…)

Sobra ko siguro s’yang itinaas, tinigala at hinagaan. Sobra-sobra ko s’yang inalala na willing akong ibigay kahit hindi naman n’ya hinihingi. Sobra ko s’yang pinahalagahan. Affected ako palagi sa bawat nangyayari sa kanya kahit nasasaktan naman ako kapag ‘di siya sumasagot. Hindi ako pinapansin. Pakiramdam ko naiiwan ako sa ere.

Sobra nga. Sobra-sobra.

Hindi ko akalain P100.00 lang pala ang kaapat n’ya para matauhan ako.
Sa halagang ’yon mapapasimple ang guidelines ko ng mga lalaking ihahanap daw sa akin ng mga concern kong friends…
… lahat ng kabaligtaran n’ya…
… lahat ng hindi s’ya (PERIOD)

Sasagutin ko na dito ang tanong na paulit-ulit lumalabas kapag binibiro nila s’ya sa akin… na kung mahal ko ba? Siguro nga… sobra-sobra pa yata na I let myself na magmukhang tanga. Tinuloy ko pa rin kahit alam kong masasaktan lang ako. Kaya hindi talaga tama.

Pwede nga pala ‘yun… na mamahalin mo pa rin kahit alam mong di naman n’ya ibabalik sa’yo.

Pero ngayong gabi, DAPAT matapos na…

Salamat kay dating presidente Manuel L. Roxas.