What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I have never been that angry in my life that I felt that I am capable to kill. Well, of course that’s the worst that I can do at that time. But I really don’t know what I am capable of doing at that time last week. I just glad that there are friends around me you are talking to me and keeping me cool or I might have done something I might have regretted doing in the first place.
It’s hard when you are caught between your emotion and rational moves. I mean, the rage can really lead into something that is remorseful and definitely you are not sure if you are thinking logically.
So, I was caught in between colliding pillars.
It has consumed my time and energy. I wish it was as easy as crumpling a piece of paper and throwing it in the trash can or just simply a combination of cmd+Q or apple+Q to quit all of it.
But that’s life… it isn’t as simple as it is. It’s the complications and challenges that makes it colorful as they say. But for how long shall I endure all the “brightness” (sarcastically) it brings forth?
As much as I wanted to scream or attack certain people and/or issues I had to restrain myself and TRY to make my mind work over my emotions. I don’t want to regret anything that I am capable of doing (as mentioned in my previous entry) that would ruin my team, hence my name. It took me years to gain such respect somehow and protected my reputation. I won’t let anyone (specially… hmp!) to take it away just like that.
Take all the credits, capture everyone’s heart, pin my team down… today might be your day but I’ll have mine.
I won’t bow down to your level.