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Apathy

02 Aug

Is it the full moon, the weather or just a coincidence that most people I know are somehow unstable these days?

Count me in. But they blame it on my diet. Hahaha. What’s new with that? I just got used to it.

They are quite a handful to mention. And they might react violently if they read this entry (uyyyy… feeling n’ya s’ya nakasulat). But there’s this one person, that really woke me up last night. I thought he was really sick. I noticed he wasn’t around in his office when he’s not online and the other day, when we came for a meeting he’s not there.

He called in sick.

Knowing this person, (or assuming that I know this person) he isn’t the type who would be absent for consecutive days unless something is really wrong. Really wrong means psychological and emotional factors.

Guess what? My hunch was right. He is lost. Lost in the sense of questioning oneself what the hell I am doing here? Where I am… etc. etc. It is the questioning of one’s capability. Something like that. And it occurs when:

1.) someone is getting older (when birthday is just an arm stretch)
2.) when a friend or someone is way successful than you are
3.) when you are not that busy, you tend to have time to “think’ something else.

And at this moment, let me add another one…

4.) the moon just became full

It’s just my theory. Because I am just recovering from this mode. I should be steering clear of this person perhaps I’ve “grown” over the idea, the situation and the feeling and what’s left is the concern for the person. Before everything turned complicated, we are friends and friends we are still now.

I greatly appreciated that this person returned back my messages. Even though in the wee hours of the night, we manage to exchange thoughts and verified somehow all will be ok. He could have been bored in what he is doing and misses his old assignments.

Well, I could admit that every time he responses the ‘kilig’ factor is still there. I know the little girl inside me smiles. But as it get by the ‘kilig’ getting lesser and lesser.

I guess I am getting over it. And becoming mature over it.

We’ll be friends. That’s one thing confirmed last night.

I slept well. Got up easy and here I am writing about it.

And what just came into me, it seems that this happened sometime last year too… I think I am having déjà vu.

––––––––––
I promised I will never blog about this person anymore. But it’s more of where he is, where I am. The situation. The realization. And honestly, I am happy now than before. Perhaps the acceptance stage has kicked in.

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2007 in Realizations

 

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