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Retrospect

02 Nov

This was written a few days ago on the day of my birthday. I was unable to post it, just now.

Today is my birthday. In a few minutes, the day will be concluded. In all fairness, today wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.

I had a few mischance since yesterday and the previous entry will stand as a proof. And that unfortunate events continued up till this morning. Like the bus I am riding going to work, it suddenly stopped in the middle of a busy highway. It seemed that these events welcomes my birthday.

And I am 30.

I really don’t know what to say. Honestly, I am wishing that I have a different life at one moment but afterwards I’d be thankful of what I am now. I may not be the happiest person in the world nor the most proud of where and what I have. I always wish things… well, life eventually, is at least a bit simplier?

Well, I never imagined before where I am now. Nor have I plans, as in REAL plans of the future. Perhaps, I should start now.

I may not have the riches of some other 30’s people have. I don’t have my own place, my own car, my own pet, a husband or a boyfriend or a family of my own. I don’t even have some thousands on my savings account. I even have this strong feeling that I may not reach another 30 years. But I’m glad I’ve reached 30 in a really quite different situation.

I am still fighting and hoping that my immediate family and my close friends will understand that happiness, success and even stability is not measured by the money you earn or the number of digits in one’s bank account. Perhaps, if I have those I’ll consider it as a bonus.

I am not absolutely or perfectly happy. If it’s perfect what’s the thrill? Perhaps that’s the whole point of where I am now and all those rants and tears. But I am happy. I’m going circles in what I am writing here. But who cares? It’s my birthday. My point is, I am old and I have no way or denying nor stopping it. I better embrace it.

I am happy… I should be. Friends are quite satisfied with the pasta dish I prepared awhile ago. A few hours of chats and skyping with some friends outside the country. Still on my post to work. Some SMS greetings here and there. Nothing so special about this day. Well… there’s one in particular that closed it and gave me not just a smile but more of a leap of heart ;)

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6 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2007 in Realizations

 

6 responses to “Retrospect

  1. achi of the bear

    November 27, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    NO APOLOGIES!

    And keep those leaps coming, because they will. Just be receptive to them.

    Hugs from Onyx and I!

     
  2. Doctor R

    December 14, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Hey Nemcy!!
    just passing through-and i found this post. Dunno but i felt that way a few weeks back-if at all u have felt that you’re different, or that you have gone on the less beaten path in life-I guess you should simply realize that your success is simply how you see it…I mean even a beggar is happy if he feels he is successful-(a couple of dollars more for that day??).
    So I’ve come to the conclusion that any feeling of inadequacy or a feeling that all our friends are going one way while you have gone the other is only because you feel theirs is the better way-why can’t yours be the better one? That will happen only if one thinks of oneself as successful I suppose-the thing is you see-even if everyone lives their lives all over again-they’ll go the same way-along the same path-so frankly speaking my path is different so I consider my life unique-I guess the same can be the case with you.
    The best of scenery lies along the less travelled paths.
    – infidel.

     
  3. infidel13

    December 14, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    my user name may appear different-but i had commented on ur blog a few months back in case u can remember.

     
  4. Nemcy

    December 28, 2007 at 9:43 pm

    To infidel13 aka Doctor R,

    Thanks for dropping by and posting again. Appreciate it so much Ü Will take note of what you said… “the best scenery lies along the less travelled paths”… I hope I can quote you on that Ü

    Good luck as well…

     
  5. watusiboy

    December 28, 2007 at 10:41 pm

    can relate..don’t have plans myself. sometimes it makes me panicky. it’s hard to plan your life, right? persnally, the thought of things which can alter my life so significantly gives me the creeps. i dunno. =)

     
  6. Nemcy

    December 29, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    Hey, Watusiboy!

    Thanks for visiting and commenting on this post. It’s really panicky specially when one is getting old like me. I suggest you plan ahead and be ready to face the “probability” of what you wanted your life to be, say at least 3-5 years from now. I have no regrets but it’s just that at times when thoughts attack and when people rub it on my face that bothers and annoys me :(

    Well, Watusiboy… good luck to you, to me and to others as well. Have a memorable and adventurous new year ahead ;)

     

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