This was written a few days ago on the day of my birthday. I was unable to post it, just now.
Today is my birthday. In a few minutes, the day will be concluded. In all fairness, today wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.
I had a few mischance since yesterday and the previous entry will stand as a proof. And that unfortunate events continued up till this morning. Like the bus I am riding going to work, it suddenly stopped in the middle of a busy highway. It seemed that these events welcomes my birthday.
And I am 30.
I really don’t know what to say. Honestly, I am wishing that I have a different life at one moment but afterwards I’d be thankful of what I am now. I may not be the happiest person in the world nor the most proud of where and what I have. I always wish things… well, life eventually, is at least a bit simplier?
Well, I never imagined before where I am now. Nor have I plans, as in REAL plans of the future. Perhaps, I should start now.
I may not have the riches of some other 30’s people have. I don’t have my own place, my own car, my own pet, a husband or a boyfriend or a family of my own. I don’t even have some thousands on my savings account. I even have this strong feeling that I may not reach another 30 years. But I’m glad I’ve reached 30 in a really quite different situation.
I am still fighting and hoping that my immediate family and my close friends will understand that happiness, success and even stability is not measured by the money you earn or the number of digits in one’s bank account. Perhaps, if I have those I’ll consider it as a bonus.
I am not absolutely or perfectly happy. If it’s perfect what’s the thrill? Perhaps that’s the whole point of where I am now and all those rants and tears. But I am happy. I’m going circles in what I am writing here. But who cares? It’s my birthday. My point is, I am old and I have no way or denying nor stopping it. I better embrace it.
I am happy… I should be. Friends are quite satisfied with the pasta dish I prepared awhile ago. A few hours of chats and skyping with some friends outside the country. Still on my post to work. Some SMS greetings here and there. Nothing so special about this day. Well… there’s one in particular that closed it and gave me not just a smile but more of a leap of heart