This morning could have been just one of those regular Tuesday mornings wherein I pull myself up to prep for our weekly usual client meetings. But it was not one of those mornings. I felt uneasy.
I had a dream last night. Vivid. Graphic. Dramatic? I seldom remember my dreams when I woke up. Nor have I been having dreams lately. That’s why perhaps the one I had last night was quite “unusual”.
Have you ever had dreams that you can control? Or tried to get back to sleep and tried to continue the dream? Well, partly I was able to control my dream but unfortunately I wasn’t able to continue it after being awakened by my alarm clock. I have to admit that I was “kilig” of a certain part of my dream. More of hopeful, I guess. Partly shocked and somehow able to “control” it at a certain point. Perhaps I was still aware and didn’t give in.
It was almost true. The sensation. The feeling. I even remember the lines we exchanged as if it was scripted or rehearsed. But it seems so real.
But it wasn’t.
I was conscious during a dream? Is that even possible?
I wish I can relay it in full detail but due to “personal preservation” I have to restrict myself.
It gave me a good feeling at first. Making me smile in my mind. But that happy smile was replaced by uneasiness. I felt uncomfortable. The feeling became unpleasant. Because in a non-dream world it was inappropriate. And up till tonight, I still feel embarrassed.
Gahd. I can’t forget his angelic face.
Is my subconsciousness overtaking me? Manifesting what is being denied or hindered in my conscious state is now being set off in my sleep.
A few minutes of perhaps being lifted in heaven but then again, I think I’m now being burned in hell.
Am I guilty?
Shit. I think I am…