Is it really my return?
Forgiveness I ask and I grant myself for not posting and sharing my thoughts how rough and inconsistent they may be in terms of schedules and all that. I can’t even call myself a blogger now… It’s been months since my last post and I didn’t even finish my postings for my much-acclaimed and sought after vacation in Bangkok 😦 (I still owe you guys 5 days of it)
I really feel sad. Ashamed. Really.
It all started that I, call it neglect if you must, not anymore updating this blog since my Biggie then that later became (and was renamed) Hughie started to show some “sickness”. For those who never knew who (or rather what) was this “Biggie” that later on became “Hughie”, it’s my Powerbook (yes, Powerbook, not Macbook just Powerbook). It started to show signs days before I went for my vacation trip to Bangkok and while I was there, it’s sort of cranking up already. Thinking that probably it’s overworked or something, I let it rest and used it a few days later.
To cut the story short, it crashed on me not once but twice! Yes. TWICE. The very reason why it became a “Hughie” renaming it from Hugh Jackman whom I wish… ah, nevermind. Twice I lost my files, personal files… including my sorted photo album in iPhoto and my latest photos from Bangkok 😦 But later on, I found out that some of the last pictures I took was still in one of my compact flashes and I was able to retrieve them. But I lost energy to sort and select since I’ve done it before. (The pain… huhuhu)
Let’s just say, this might not be really a good year for me. Aside from the crashes and losses, I was diagnosed one day of having an asthma. Well, for a few months after diagnosis and a whole week of absence from work I avoided food that might trigger to coughing that then leads to sleepless nights and asthma attacks. I restrain myself from chocolates, eggs and milk or anything that had those. Until recently, I can’t help myself… but thankfully, no attacks so far 😉
Surely you’ve read about the flash floods and typhoons that hit Philippines. Well, my family and I and some close friends of mine are victims. My old drawings and illustrations, photo albums, first publication and printed works, my airbrush and compressor to name a few were destroyed by the flood. Books of my granddaughters were ruined by it too that it breaks my heart knowing the kids cried because of it. It was hard to throw things that once you knew was yours, was intact and you loved or at lest liked. But we have to move one. A couple of days after I’m done cleaning up in my home in the province, I went to Manila to help out a friend. I shared to him my technique to make the cleaning and sorting fast. I told him to psych himself that if it was only that time (cleaning) that he remembered he had those stuff, it means you don’t need it so better throw it/them. Well, it could have worked on me or to some people. But if you see your big box of comic books you collected since way back then, dripping in muddy water… if it was mine I’d cry. Honestly, it hurts but again, all has at least a reason, a sane reason why it happened to you and it won’t be given to you if you can’t handle it well.
But I’d say, we’re still lucky for none of our families lost a loved one. God is still good to us.
A few things happened to my family. Tatay was hospitalized due to head trauma when he fell off the stairs. But prior to that, he had to go back home because no one will take care of him after he had that thing inserted in his heart (sorry, I forgot the term). But he’s fine now, recovering. But he won’t be able to come back and work in the US. Nanay, well, strong as ever. she may have tantrums or breakdowns once in awhile specially when I don’t go home but she’s a fighter. My kuyas, well, both have their families to deal with. They visit once in awhile.
And me, well, after months of no personal computer and seeing my Powerbook just being a dust collector or a paper weight beside me everyday when I report to my work post I’m pretty much ok. I guess learning and losing things we worked for or things that we knew we once had may hurt but it does take time for you to get over it. It depends actually on you. I let it go. I accepted that fact that it happened. Actually, I’m surprise myself that I didn’t violently reacted specially when I lost my files twice. It seems like I saw it coming or sort of expecting it. there were sacrifices, yes. I had to stay late in the office for me to play or watch something online or downloaded. But somehow it gave me time to think of other things to do. I now read… yes, read… novels, short stories. I try write, by hand mind you. The old school journals. Even do word hunt puzzles, the old way: bought a couple for my Tatay as his past time only thing is, one was left with me and I’m the one who worked on it. It’s easy ah! It’s addicting too… hihihi. Brain exercise for me… non-work related exercise.
So, pretty much the world continued to revolve. Either to with it or counterflow it. But why resist when you know you can manage to drive with it. Gees. What am I saying here? Oh well, Im just glad I got to write again here. But I can’t promise when again. I did plan to draw or doodle too manually, not digitally but still… I haven’t done or even started at least one of project on it. I got 3 blank notebooks, good material for illustrating as gifts from my last birthday. I guess some force is telling me, persuading me to draw or at least doodle.
I guess this is it… goodbye for now but I’ll be back but God knows when it will be or what I’ll be posting.
As for now, ta-tah… live well 😉