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Category Archives: Simplified

Things I’m Thankful For This 2011

The year is almost over. And as we aim for new hopes and dreams in the incoming year, I look back and list down what made 2011 a year to be thankful for.

1) Gadgets : Who wouldn’t want new “toys”? As the mid-year approaches, I got my dream new Macbook Pro through accumulated royalties from my book illustrations. I also got a new mobile phone. It’s not the iPhone that I wanted but a family friend gave my an old model though secondhand Blackberry for FREE.

2) For my parents: Despite the non-talking relationship, individually they were able to survive and surpass health challenges.

3) Financial ups and downs: Still having problems in budgeting and saving up. I still have debts but here I am surviving, and striving ;)

4) Free out of town trips: Unlike the previous years, I usually travel out of the country at least once a year. But due to monetary constraint, no travels for me this year. But I am thankful for out of town trips invitation by close family friends Ü

5) Tita Julie and Tito Johnny: They are the close family friends we have. I’m thankful that their humility and kindness are shared to me, Nanay and the rest of my family.

6) My work, colleagues and friends from old work, old clients and old school: Who are still there despite my breakdowns and sudden burst of singing (with actions) when being carried away from the songs I’m listening to. Meeting up some once at least a year. Texts or BBM exchanges once in a while. Sorry for my sudden appearances and disappearances. Sorry I can’t always be there for all of you. Forgive my shortcomings, like not replying immediately or not meeting you guys. There are reasons why I couldn’t. But rest assured, I may not be there always but you all guys are in my thoughts, heart and prayers.

7) My virtual boyfriend and best friend, Jose: For still being there and not getting mad at me on my stupidest decisions and actions. We both have dramas and moments in life but it’s been tried and tested… beautiful people attract and stick to each other no matter what.  (Love you, Chong! *hugs*)

8) My best friend from far and away, Annie: We seldom talk, chat and email but when we do it’s just like gold old college times. Distance and time don’t matter. It didn’t hinder friendship, that’s for sure. (Miss you, Annie Banani! Love you!)

9) Chico and Delamar’s (and now with Gino!) The Morning Rush, Glee, The Big Bang Theory,  Happy Endings and Adele: The TV series helped me survive my everyday life and get lost from it once and awhile. The Kikay Barkada: Chico, Del and Gino morning antics are my weekday alarm clocks and boosters for sudden laughs and life’s scenarios to think about. And Adele, oh Adele! Your songs spoke of my “moments” specially this last quarter.

10) That guy, who is well, quite special (and he knows it): Who came, then disappeared, then came back once more. A simple text message, a phone call, and a simple meet up in our old university will overpower all the tears and heartaches I’ve gone through. Stupid, crazy love I guess. We’re not together, we can’t. But we know that we’re there for each other as friends, best friends hopefully.

2011 is not my best year, but it wasn’t bad. I’m hoping that 2012 will be better and brighter. Hopefully I’ll be sharing more stories, ideas and experience more frequently in the coming year.

Wishing everyone, a blessed, peaceful and prosperous new year!

Cheers!

 

Full 360 Degrees And Back

Ang tagal kong di nagsulat. Tapos ngayon Taglish (Tagalog-English combined) naman. There’s no best way na makwento ko ‘yung nasa isip ko ngayon but in that way.

Na-realize ko lang kanina habang pinipilit kong kumain ng almusal na napapa-English na pala ako kagabi. Oo, lumabas din ang siguro coño side or pagka-kolehiyala ko kagabi habang humahagulgol sa sakit at confusion na nangyari kagabi lang.

Sa title ko, ‘yan ‘yung naramdaman ko in less than 24 hours. Full swing or full round from being happy to sudden pain and sadness. Well, lamang naman nung saya or happy moments kasi nung Linggo pa ‘yun. Pero kahapon, Monday, from high to bottom ako. Never in my life would have I imagined na ganu’n pala kasakit na natakot ako na baka atakihin ako ng hika or biglang magsugod sa ospital ang 2 sobrang lalapit kong mga kaibigan na halos kapatid ko na. Pero may point na wala na akong pakialam habang nanghihina ka na sa kakapigil umiyak pero sumabog ka na. Pinipigilan ko pa dahil ayaw kong ma-witness ng mga bata at their young age na ang Ninang ‘Ba nila, sa tandang ito e humahagulgol sa garden nila.

Ganu’n pala ‘yung sinasabing “breakdown”. Akala ko OA lang ‘yung sa movies. Para ka pala talagang nauubos na kandila. Mangangatog ang tuhod at sobrang kinokontrol mo na ‘wag mag-pass out. Sobrang gulo na nang isip mo kasi wala ka nang magawa sa mga panahon na ‘yun.

Ok, magulo ba? Sorry. Ganito na lang: siguro naman may pagkakataon na sa buhay n’yo na sobrang saya n’yo na halos gusto mong ilibre ang buong mundo sa nararamdaman mong happiness kahit alam mong either ang babaw naman nu’n reason ng kaligayahan mo sa ibang tao or pwedeng isipin nila na gaga or tanga ka because of that PERO wala kang pakialam. Basta masaya ka. PERIOD. Nung Sunday, ganun ako. Nakakangawit pala sa pisngi ‘yung lagi kang napapangiti? Nagka-facial exercise ako ng hindi inaasahan. ‘Yung happiness nubng Sunday was 2-way. And it has transcended until Monday early evening.

Ayan, the down side kicked in the moment na ang reason na kung bakit ka masaya biglang kumontra. ‘Yung naramdaman mo na naman na “it’s me against the world” na naman ba ito? Na pinaglalaruan na naman ba ako ni Fate at ano ba Lord, nagjo-joke ka na naman ba? Grabe! Ang daming tanong. Ang sakit sa ulo na ‘yung skull mo parang binibiyak ng bread knife lang. Na ‘yung puso mo hindi kumakabog nang mabilis kundi parang it stopped tapos hindi ka makahinga. Pero OA di ko naisip na ikakamatay o mamamatay na ako. Adik pa rin ako kasi despite na ang happiness nung Sunday e nag-turn around yata, inaalala ko pa rin ‘yung field work ko mamaya sa MOA at ‘yung i-email kong JPEGs na submission para bukas.

Mabait nga siguro ako. Gaga at tanga na sa sobrang kabaitan. Pero siguro, kahit isa sa inyo dyan na matiyagang makakabasa nito will nod and will say “oo nga” that there’s one person in your life, reasonably but most likely hindi mo maipaliwanag in words na maiintindihan ng lahat na ipagtatanggol mo, naiintindihan mo at kung pwede lang, kung genie ka lang bibigyan mo ng 3 wishes. Hindi counted ang parents o family members ha? Nasa dugo ‘yun e. Pero isang tao, kahit ano pa s’ya noon, kahit alam mong mga nangyari sa kanya, strangely tanggap mo. Etong tao na ito na nawala, bumalik, nawala na naman da’l magulo man ang utak pero pilit na inaayos ang buhay e bumalik nga tapos mawawala na naman, anong gagawin mo?

It ran in my mind last night those lines we usually say to our friends na perhaps in such situation too.

“He’s not meant for you.”

“Niloloko ka lang n’ya.”

“Baka naman psychiatrist lang tingin n’ya sa’yo.”

“Gago/tarantado/ s’ya para ganyanin ka.”

“You’ll be ok.”

Those words, you wanted to defy it. First time in my life, nung tinanong akong “Ok ka lang ba?” sumagot ako na “Honestly, hindi.”

Sa mga breakdowns kailangan talagang merong kahit isang kaibigan kang sensible na magtutuwid ng pag-iisip mo. Alam naman natin ang gagawin e. Nasasabi at napapayo pa nga natin di ba? Pero iba kapag ikaw na ‘yung nasa situation. Gusto mo lang ibalik ‘yung dati, ‘yung pwede bang gamitin ‘yung remote control ng TV to rewind or mag-undo keys ka para mabura at ma-redo mo.

Full 360 comes in now. After the begging, yes, I begged and felt that was my lowest point in my life me trying to be strong despite alone and independently living and attempting to be a woman with balls, begged. Nawala ang pride-pride. Nagagalit ako hindi sa kanya at uulitin ko ulit sa mga nakakaalam na ‘wag kayong magalit sa kanya kasi may kasalanan din ako. Baka may na-imprint sa akin o akong nag-imprint. Basta, sana understand that du’n ako sumaya. Some felt and even witnessed that. A few hours after my head was somehow thinking straight na and thoughts were collected. After a text and an attempted for a couple more times to call and talk to him after the dropping calls and the fact na alam mong ayaw ka n’yang kausapin kasi  alam n’yang umiiyak ka na at di ka papapigil, nagbukas din sya ng phone. He replied from my last text message and without hesitation kahit sabi ng lahat ‘wag kang bibigay, ‘wag kang tatawagan, ‘wag ka muanng makipag-usap, tumawag ako.

Hindi man fully happy ending. Hindi man kami for now. At least he’s not leaving or disappearing again. Parehas lang pala ‘yung mawawala na lang pa parang bula sa mawawala na nagpaalam kapag ayaw mong mawala s’ya sa’yo ulit. Hindi rin n’ya ako natiis na iwan ulit siguro kaya nagbukas s’ya ng phone. Basta ang importante sa amin, lalo sa akin, questions were answers. Blurry lines were cleared. Proven na mali talaga ang mga akala. Bumalik, umikot, full circle.

One has waited for years, won’t you wait for probably a few more days or weeks or years? Ewan ko. Gaga nga siguro talaga ako pero ito ‘yun e. Waiting won’t be of a waste. No doors closed. Dignified pa rin ako. Haba pa nga nang hair ko kasi may mga bagay na lumabas kagabi na nakalimutan ko na at mga salitang even in my dreams never thought I’d be hearing. Sorry, hindi “I love you”… we both have respect on those sacred words lalo na kung hindi handa ‘yung magsasabi or makakarinig.

Lesson ko dito: we are reminded. We have rules, written and unwritten. We know what to do and yet may weight pa rin kung tama ba o mali sa’yo at sa situation. Pero at the end, you’ll decide. Make a choice. Follow the rules. Follow what is said or written pero IKAW pa rin ang makapagsasabi. I took the RISK. Expected the worst (although I was caught off guard) and hoped for the best. It ended not perfect but better. We’re both in a better disposition. Smiling.

May continuation pa ba ito? Meron naman. Sana. Walang anuman na di maayos nang hindi napag-uusapan. Again, expect the worst but still hope for the best.

;)

 

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Me and Steve Jobs

Apple's Homepage on the announcement of Steve Jobs death

I cried (and still having a few burst of tears since yesterday).

The news of Steve Jobs passing away was not a shock to me but more on regret because it was too soon for him to die at 56. But seeing him present his “Stevenotes” with a drastic change of his physique somehow tells me he is really sick and he is fighting and surviving it.

But actually I was in denial. And in fear.

Denial because I don’t want him to go. I’m worried of what will Apple become when he’s not the CEO anymore. I fear for him and for his family and friends that he’ll be leaving behind.

I am affected by Steve Jobs.

He is the only stranger that I shed my tears this much (up till now while I’m writing this) second to but more than the time when Pope John Paul II died. He’s not my father, not my uncle, not even a friend nor a neighbor. He is far from where I live and where I am. I’ve never met him. But he’s one of the famous and remarkable people I dream to meet but for sure I’ll be tongue-tied and star struck if that did happen. I’m not even close to his fans that know his story, his achievements and waiting in the wee hours of the day just to watch him present the new innovations of Apple. But I’ll say it again, I am affected.

I tried to keep the emotion since yesterday. I was trying to keep it to myself. I was late in going to work. A colleague was brave enough to raise that we were strangely quiet almost the whole day in the office. I tried to work normally but it was really tough.

But the show must go on.

Wired.com homepage on the announcement of his passing

While I was on my way home last night, I was pondering why my reaction to his death was like this. It could be because I have lived more than half my life away from my family and lived by myself. There has always at least an Apple device with me after college. My work has always been in the field of arts and design. I’ve set my hands on the “candy” iMac to its present, really powerful and beautifully designed version. I’ve saved up to have my first and own personal Mac which was the TiBook and now I’m writing this with the latest 13-inch MacBook Pro. I bought the very first iPod Mini a couple of years after I had my TiBook and it took years for that iPod to be replaced by a blue 3rd Gen Nano as a Christmas present. I am not well off. I just have enough to support myself and I get by every paycheck. But as a designer, Apple is my Louis Vuitton. (I had to give credit to Mommy Ria, my colleague and friend for saying that yesterday.)

So you see, Apple has always been beside me and with me everyday: from the moment I wake up, I listen to the radio through iRadio attached to Bluwee, the blue 3rd Gen Nano. I read quick news via Twitter and see what’s new with my friends through Facebook with Sparkee, my MBP. I go to work, answer emails, create and submit designs with the assigned iMac to me. Then I go home and again write or read blogs, check if there’s something interesting to pin from Pinterest or watch a movie or TV series online.

Boring to some, but that’s my life. Simple but it has Apple. I know that there are innovators and other geniuses that worked with Steve Jobs as these people are blabbing, that too much credit is being given to him. Well, he just had led a fallen company back up that’s just one. He just innovated personal computers. He just revolutionized portable devices. He just changed how people can listen to music, use their mobile phones, use the net while on the go and document their lives. He just opened up a new industry and new businesses when Apple came out with the MacBooks, iPod, iPhone and iPad. He just eased some of our daily lives and live it in style. I will not deny that owning an Apple device is like a badge of achievement to me. It’s an honor. (And a bragging factor, of course)

Even if I missed my chance of meeting and shaking Steve Jobs hand, I feel everyday he is with me. Each morning I’m listening to him and day after day, I’m working with him. Steve Jobs will not be forgotten. Steve Jobs will be remembered.

Steve Jobs leans against his wife, Laurene Powell Jobs (Image by Lea Suzuki/San Francisco Chronicle/Corbis)

As I write this, like to anyone we love who’ve left us and went ahead, we have to say goodbye or do something as closure. Steve Jobs has contributed a lot and made his point. He fought for what he believed in. He fought his disease and survived the first battle. And I believe he fought hard. He too gets tired like anyone of us. And now it’s time for him to rest.

 

To Steve Jobs…

Sir,

Wherever you are, whether you’re on the (i)Cloud or somewhere else, up until now I don’t know what to say. They’ve said a lot already to you and to honor and remember you. You know what you’ve done because you believed it can be done. You believe that anything can be made great. Thank you for giving and sharing to us what you’ve believed in. Thank you for making our lives now easier and yes, cooler thanks to your Apple devices. I’ll definitely miss the “Stevenotes”, the only presentation that’s exciting to watch and not boring. Thank you for making the child in us laugh and cry with your Pixar movies. There will be no replacement of you, Sir. But it’s time for you to rest.

Farewell, Sir. Thank you for thinking differently. 

Image by weird-science (from Deviantart)

 

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This Angry Girl

I met up with Jose (my virtual boyfriend and a dear friend of mine) last night and he gave me a gift…

At first I wondered why the book? Am I that angry? But as he hands it to me he explains that he’s giving it to me not because I’m angry but he knows I’ll smile once I read the book. I’d be reminded of myself… I smiled indeed. With some doubts in my head of course.

And then I read the message he wrote on the book. It said:

To my dearest Nemcy,

I was just walking around a mall and saw a copy of this book. I thought of giving it to you not because you’re angry.

You see, I used to visit this comic strip’s website almost religiously. But then I forgot about it.

I say this because we forget things. We forget sorrow. We forget pain. We forget disappointment. On the other side of that, we forget that life can be beautiful. We forget that we are loved. We forget happiness.

When I saw this book, I am reminded how I laugh at this strip. Nemcy, sadness, pain, sorrow, disappointment will never go away. But we can forget about them occasionally. It just takes a bit of effort to come up for air. But we’re stronger than the storm. We just forget that. We should remind each other.

Jose Ardivilla

My VBF is right. I’m really such a forgetful person. We all are. And thank goodness for friends. Chosen friends.

And then as I browse the pages of the book, I found the page he was referring to that reminded me of him:

Yup. I’m definitely Kim, the angry Asian girl. My mom is not Chinese but I have “instances” like this (and yes, I just had one awhile ago but moms will be moms I guess). It doesn’t end there. But it’s better to understand the characters… and read the book and/or strips ;)

I read this book 3 times today. Still has the same effect on me:
• I nodded.
• I smiled.
• I laughed at some strips.
• And I laughed harder on other pages.

Each characters reminded me of certain people. And most of the time I’m Kim (sometimes I’m crazy Maria too, that makes me a schizo as the book said!) but I guess I know why. This explains some of the characters:

Kim the Angry Asian Girl

Mother Lee, Kim's Mother

The strips are simple, easy read and it’s true!!!

I have no way of communicating to Ms. Lela Lee (hope she reads this) that her strips, her created characters are simple but brilliant! ^_^ Ms. Lee, I do hope you come up with more books like these and strips to read ;)

Check out the site here. Read the strips and check out which girl are you? Ü

 

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The Reason Why…

Image from Pinterest.com
 

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It Dawned On Me…

I was browsing quotes from links from Pinterest.com. Image above hit me…

I’ve waited. No reply. Not that I’m giving up. I guess I just have to be prepared to Plan C. Or even Plan D. But definitely Plan A and B’s over.

From the heavy rains last week and this past weekend, it was nice seeing the sun shine again Ü

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2011 in Realizations, Simplified

 

I’m Not Giving Up

 If I didn’t miss count, it’s not three yet. You’re not yet out.

 

 

 

A Reminder On Happiness

Another thought found in Pinterest.com

Amen? ;)

 

About Some People In Our Lives

Sharing this to everyone specially to Chong (from Pinterest.com)

Reasonable and true ;)

 

A Timely Reminder

Wow! It’s already February. January came by quite fast. I barely noticed it! Gees!

We’ll for one, the last days of last month was quite heavy for me. Had that asthma attack and flu and I have to do some quarantine time and recuperation to get back here at my board. So here I am back from the grave, though still not 100% well, I’m feeling better and preferred to be this way than be staring at walls and ceilings again for days!!! (Couldn’t stand watching of reading back then, made me dizzy and throw up… sorry for the details!)

So here I am, with a lot in mind but I seem can’t organize my thoughts that seem to be swimming in Carbocisteine and Salbutamol (my meds!) until I came across to this image in my Pinterest.com…

Perfect!

It’s February: the love month. Love is in the air as others say it. (Feels cold here in my location though.) There will always be the opposites of everything. Some are lucky, others are not. So why not have  some reminder to those uncoupled out there like a few friends of mine this month? ;)

Timely.

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2011 in Recommendation, Simplified

 
 
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