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This Angry Girl

I met up with Jose (my virtual boyfriend and a dear friend of mine) last night and he gave me a gift…

At first I wondered why the book? Am I that angry? But as he hands it to me he explains that he’s giving it to me not because I’m angry but he knows I’ll smile once I read the book. I’d be reminded of myself… I smiled indeed. With some doubts in my head of course.

And then I read the message he wrote on the book. It said:

To my dearest Nemcy,

I was just walking around a mall and saw a copy of this book. I thought of giving it to you not because you’re angry.

You see, I used to visit this comic strip’s website almost religiously. But then I forgot about it.

I say this because we forget things. We forget sorrow. We forget pain. We forget disappointment. On the other side of that, we forget that life can be beautiful. We forget that we are loved. We forget happiness.

When I saw this book, I am reminded how I laugh at this strip. Nemcy, sadness, pain, sorrow, disappointment will never go away. But we can forget about them occasionally. It just takes a bit of effort to come up for air. But we’re stronger than the storm. We just forget that. We should remind each other.

Jose Ardivilla

My VBF is right. I’m really such a forgetful person. We all are. And thank goodness for friends. Chosen friends.

And then as I browse the pages of the book, I found the page he was referring to that reminded me of him:

Yup. I’m definitely Kim, the angry Asian girl. My mom is not Chinese but I have “instances” like this (and yes, I just had one awhile ago but moms will be moms I guess). It doesn’t end there. But it’s better to understand the characters… and read the book and/or strips ;)

I read this book 3 times today. Still has the same effect on me:
• I nodded.
• I smiled.
• I laughed at some strips.
• And I laughed harder on other pages.

Each characters reminded me of certain people. And most of the time I’m Kim (sometimes I’m crazy Maria too, that makes me a schizo as the book said!) but I guess I know why. This explains some of the characters:

Kim the Angry Asian Girl

Mother Lee, Kim's Mother

The strips are simple, easy read and it’s true!!!

I have no way of communicating to Ms. Lela Lee (hope she reads this) that her strips, her created characters are simple but brilliant! ^_^ Ms. Lee, I do hope you come up with more books like these and strips to read ;)

Check out the site here. Read the strips and check out which girl are you? Ü

 

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U.P. Revisited: Shock Value and U.P. Food

It’s been years since I walked through the halls and the now brick-like sidewalks of my university. For a concluding Saturday, we saw college students waiting at the jeepney stops and well, lots of bikers and joggers. Half the road of the university oval were already barricaded for them. During my college days, it wasn’t like this. I guess many now are appreciating how nice it was to walk (or in their case, jog, run or bike) under those trees.

I came back and walked the halls and sidewalks of UP to watch “Shock Value”. Likewise, it was years since I walked a play in UP. I almost forgot how I like watching plays. I guess I’m a frustrated actress… hihihi. Jose, my virtual boyfriend was so kind to (advance) treat me (for my birthday) and got us a ticket to watch the matinee show. Luckily, it was the 2nd to the last day of the play. We were hoping to see John Lapuz aka Sweet on stage. Too bad it was not his call time. But despite not seeing him, the play was hilarious. It was a satire about the back scenes of our television industry. It was filled with characters and roster of personalities you’ll recognized from onscreen. I had a very good laugh through out the show. Oh. There are quite a few scenes that are for “mature” audiences ;)

Oh. I like how they termed these TV icons (on cam and those behind the cameras) “beautiful monsters”. Despite of how monstrous these personalities are, or even know the personalities or even the stories that we watch on TV (fabricated or not) we the viewers tend to continuously watch them and talked about them. Because that’s what we want them to be. We “buy” what they are selling.

After this play, I’m looking forward to another chance to watch and catch another play from Dulaang U.P. Ü

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It was just past 6pm I think when Jose and I, both craved for the usual (and famous) student food here in UP: fishballs, squidballs and kikiam. We had to walk in pursuit to any open stalls. Jose comes back to UP more often than me because of his masteral and experimental painting classes. I mentioned a few fishball stands I remember before, half of what I mentioned are either closed already at that time or was relocation somewhere else. Proof that a lot has changed in my alma mater.

Passing by between AS Hall (or Palma Hall) and CAL Building, I noticed a photo op background…

Our first photo op: Jose's Mary Poppins-ish Landing Pose

Mission No. 2 for the day… our college days comfort food…

UP Food: Fish balls, Squid balls, Kikiam atbp.

Remember the changing times I mentioned awhile ago? A proof…

UP Food Cart Now

All the balls and other street food being offered are sold in sets nowadays

Almost all stalls or food cart in UP looks like these. In my days, I remember Manong will bring out his bags of balls (no pun intended) out of a stryofoam container filled with ice side by side with drinks you can choose from: bottled, canned or in tetra packs. You can buy these balls by piece and you yourself will poke them out of the frying pan, hot and crispy. In the famous “kolehiyala” terms, you make “tusok-tusok” the fishballs. Now, food to cook are displayed and all the balls (no pun intended again) that to be fried are on a stick and being sold on sets (P12/set if I’m not mistaken). They even have cheese sticks, siomai, hotdogs and take note: pancit canton! Not to mention there are even combo meals or set meals like pancit canton + squid balls + hotdog sandwich for more or less about P65.00 at the most that you can choose from. College kids nowadays are quite lucky with these “variety” of street food in UP. Well, parents or health conscious people will definitely say these are not healthy food and shouldn’t be eaten everyday but hell! I’ve been a student and in tight budget (or saving up for something) these meals are my savior if I’m still a UP student at this time ;)

Leftover waste from our devoured college food cravings

Manang draining the pansit canton noodles just ordered from her

I felt old BUT happy and simply satisfied with my Saturday in U.P. Diliman with Jose. Though it was quick, it was fun reminiscing while chomping up all those balls (again, no pun intended). That was our dinner, by the way. Cheap but memorable.  I was dead-tired and fell asleep when I got home but I really had a great time! Thanks again, Jose. Looking forward again to another moment of nostalgia in U.P. Diliman ^_^

 

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Off to the Beach

This entry was weeks old late… another entry that I owe and it’s worth posting still ;) Thanks again, Ate Marj, Jose aka Chong and Denden Ü

It’s been really stressful and frustrating these days and a trip to the beach was the temporary getaway, thanks to Ate Marj, Jose’s sister who invited me to join them over the weekend. And guess who’d they brought along?

Onyx!!! Their very lovable black labrador, who loves me too… not a brag but, see the evidence

Onyx’s look of love to me… buti pa ‘yung dog… (sniff)

 

Awww…

 

I told Ate Marj over YM that “hulog s’ya ng langit sa akin” (trans. she’s sent from heaven to me, my savior!) that I think made her laugh :p But indeed, she’s really one to me, specially at these times. A mere escape how short it may be from the hustle and bustle of the city and the stress from work is definitely what I needed. And the day trip to a beach it is.

As early as 6am, we were on the rode. Denden drove the whole stretch of the trip from their place in Makati, picking me up at the Muñoz area down to the new SCLEX(?) then to the Subic area. With us were Mia and Marlene (their housekeepers) whom Ate Marj promised to take them to the beach to celebrate their birthdays. Of course Jose was there too and the most important of all, Onyx, the star of the day! ;)

By the way, they prepared our lunch and it was great! I ate a lot… as in a LOT! I ate I think almost 2 plateful of spaghetti. Buttered chicken was unforgettable. I ate a lot of lumpiang shanghai even when we were on our way back home. And peanuts, lots of peanuts as snacks. Found out that I’d prefer the hot and spicy with Happy brand than Sugo :p

Hmmm… I guess I’ll let the photos from my multiply [link] do the talking based on the captions (which I have still to place). I nabbed some photos from Jose’s file to which if not for him I won’t be having souvenirs from the trip. It’s like a unwritten deal, I’ll take his photos, he takes mine ;)

Oh, one thing that’s quite remarkable with this trip was the encounters with the “aliens”. I was about to take the plunge and was just packing up the camera I borrowed from Myles when Marlene was rushing towards the bucket that we brought for the trip. And what’s in her container?

Those were the “aliens” I’m pertaining. I kept calling those jellyfishes “aliens” because of their size, form and color. Too small right? You mgiht be thinking that they are harmless or too small for my built but wait till you see these…

Aliens…

And a comparative size of these “aliens” (the first big ones caught) with my unpedicured and manly-looking foot…

Now, would you wonder why we have such reactions?

Jose didn’t bother going back to the waters after that sighting. We were happy manning our stuff, snacking on the knick knacks, viewing how Onyx swims with Ate and Denden and snapping for their photos. Plus, Jose and I were so tranced with how these creatures were that I myself seemed to have taken more than 20 shots of these “aliens”. Sorry, Onyx, the spotlight was taken by these jellyfishes. But though they did that, Onyx still have quite a handful of shots/portraits.

Ate Marj give this shot a title: Easy Friendship… this is Onyx and Denden

 

Tug-o-war of Onyx with Ate Marj…

 

LQ? As in lovers’ quarrel between Denden and Onyx? Nah. Onyx was just tired here… :p

 

Now, Onyx is in an “argument” with Mia here… it’s her gesture that she doesn’t want to take the walk I guess.

 

Ever curious Onyx…

 

… who got tired but surely had fun too that day Ü

I didn’t take the dip but it was ok. I’m just glad that I’m there, feet got wet by the waves and inhaled sea breeze. Ate Marj and Jose knew that as simple as those actions I’m satisfied and really happy. A change of scene would really do some magic Ü plus I have Myles’ DSLR (Canon 20D) with telephoto lens which came so handy. Made me busy and occupied taking shots of the group and “others” as well… thanks Myles’! Getting the hang of using your toy ;)

Some of the photos I kinda like…

 

Jose… macho noh? :p But after this…

Proudly showing his Disney sun visor with it’s leopard prints!

One of the “gwapo” shots of Jose… for Addie ;)

This is Denden, serious? For you naman, Ate Marj ;)

 

One of the kids playing (and contributing) with the “aliens” collection… I think he’s contemplating here?

 

Mia and Marlene, the birthday celebrants doing there sand castles…

 

Splash it, Mia!

 

This is Jose bravely touching the “aliens”…

Me taking photos… shot courtesy of my VBF, Jose

 

Me and Onyx for a walk… by Jose

 

Still me and Onyx after the walk… he got tired that’s why he just slump on the cool sand… by Jose

 

Denden and Ate Marj, sweeters… by Jose

 

After that, we went to Duty Free and did a little shopping and then they brought me home to Bulacan and they finally met Nanay (my mother). The weekend day trip to Camayan Resort in Subic was short but fulfilling and satisfying to me. Thank you so much Ate Marj, Denden and Jose for the invitation. They knew that it’s also the first beaech trip I had for this summer. And summer is almost at its end.

 

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On Continuity and Restlessness

I’m a bit shaken with the things happening around me. Things that matter personally and professionally. Made me think again on certain situations that I thought only fictatious and happens only because the scriptwriter and director told them so…

It even irritates me more when simple stuff that should at least coorperate with you to ease up a little tention adds up and aggitates you more…

… itchy scalp. I’ve paid some shiny, gloss thing to be done on my hair and paid quite a lot for such treatment. I’ve forever believed that no one or nothing should be done to my hair––EVER! But being so vulnerably clueless and illogical lately, this famous parlor made me do so. Now, I suffer for it… wounded scalp AND pocket. Unsolicited advice: Stick to your gut feeling!
… bruises springing out of nowhere? There’s this quite big one on my right arm that’s irritates me for weeks.
… this weird type of zit appears of all places, on my nape? Since now I have shorter hair, it’s visible I bet, I get to scrape, hit or touch it accidentally… ARGH!

I guess the stress is manifesting in some way or another. Specially the itchy scalp. I go such state when I think to much… is my brain cells falling out?

Hahaha. Cartoons… I think I’ve watched to much cartoons…

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Today, I am meeting up with Jose. It’s been quite sometime since we’ve seen each other. We hardly chat or exchange SMS messages. Mostly, he’s the one initiating. Like this meet up.

I feel he’s quite happy… because he never watch movies in Tagalog! Hihihi. Really. He hates the plot. The very predictable plot. Which up until now, I wonder why I’m still such a sucker for Filipino mushy love story, specially the tragic ones. I don’t know. I’m such a hopeless romantic, I guess.

2 movies (one Tagalog movie: take note) + Jose + plus his treat = Should not pass this one up.

Jose’s gearing up with his tinted glasses aka sunglasses and I’m bring quite an absorbent hanky. (My beach towel is huge to fit in my bag) ;)

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It’s a Thursday. A holiday. Tomorrow is a Friday and there’s still work. PGMA can’t do her thing in moving holidays here and there this time. It’s Labor Day. She will definitely be like banging herself on spiky, solid wall… or she has another plan in mind?

I remember an old taxi driver who seemed quite intellectual based on his comments saying, “PGMA is really an economist”.  I won’t expound on it anymore, check the dictionary and the news.

Going back today being a holiday and tomorrow still a workday, a lot of people might be heading somewhere today. They might have filed a work leave to enjoy the long weekend. Good for them. I envy them. My getaway will just be 2 movie dates, a hearty meal with a good friend, Jose. Thanks to him, I might be working again today despite the holiday. Well, I did bring home some work and plan to do it tonight AFTER the movie date because it’s deadline is tomorrow, Friday.

Welcome to a more vicious reality… it does bite.

 
 

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Definition of Manhood

I was writing another blog awhile ago. It was right after I talked to Jose and read his latest entry. I admit that there are times I really kick myself hard to write as proficiently and grammatically correct like him. But I’ve wasted much time on the other blog just doing so. I scrapped and trashed that blog entry.

I’ll just go straight to the point instead.

I left ONE important thing about me in one of my entries here. It’s about the weirdness that makes of me. Let me say it now and make it clear to everyone…

I have a VIRTUAL BOYFRIEND…

It of importance because he is my friend, one of my best friends and will always be part of what I’ve become and will be.

My VBF is named Jose. Almost everyone from both side know how we are “related”. And this will be the time (again) that I am putting it in writing and let it be clear to everyone that he, Jose, is my Virtual Boyfriend (VBF).

Yeah, yeah… you’ll be reacting. The adjective VIRTUAL doesn’t pertain to the cyber technology whatsoever. Nor to any non-existent, non-tangible being. To somewhat simplify the definition, it’s almost the same or even BETTER than any romantic relationship minus the sexual and physical benefits of having a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Simply put that he is gay and I am straight woman. And if your are smart enough dear reader, to add it all up, to associate the terms and the definition… you’ll get what I mean.

I can’t find my old entry defining our terms as “virtually” in relation. But the importance of this blog is to let EVERYONE know, that what defines a MAN for me doesn’t necessarily being NOT gay. It’s how you make your life, how you live it, take it and share that life to others.

And for me, Jose is that man right now in my life that would defend and fight for me (not counting my father and brothers, of course). He is more of a man than any other straight men I admired, drooled over and stupidly almost given myself to and had that so-called romantic relationship with. (Yes, Jose, including that man that shall not be named that you hated so much.)

I am of privilege that he chose me, of all his female friends to be his girl-friend. His partner knows about it. We were introduced and we both have no problems about it. And I can pretty much say, he and Jose is sooooo much in love and for each other Ü

So why the title? Let me make it clear (again) that being straight doesn’t make one greater than those who are not. I know of men who are straight (and those pretentiously straight) that hide behind their masculinity. They scream to the worlds that they are man and builds muscles or they are knights of bravery but when are called upon or hear cries for help they suddenly became deaf?!? They are all yanks and blah-blahs. Well, would they have a finer and better life than those who are gay? Some don’t even have balls to face the problems they stupidly created.

And Jose, if you are reading this… you don’t have to change to anything. Just live a life you wanted. F*ck those who comment and say things about you being girlish and all that. I am sorry for I am guilty of that too. I admit it but it should not be taken in the bad way. You always know when I mean well. You know me more than I know myself! You define who you are now, based from what you’ve been and experienced before. You are loved, liked and hated for what you are before, now and DAPAT in what you will become sooner. May you be a gay or straight person, you don’t have to be affected by anyone or anything as long as you don’t hurt or kill anyone because of it.

You, of all people… of all my best friends should know that, Jose. You keep on saying that to me. May you be flamboyant or the stiff man that ROTC turned you before… you will be loved by me and will be my one and only (virtual) boyfriend… and best friend.

Just be what you are now. Why bother going back to what you were before? Are you sure you’ll be happier if you do that? F*ck those who says so.

And I am maddened thinking about it… and the comments we will be receiving after they read or learn about this… or I was just expecting one from someone we both know of?

I’m such a bitch… HA!

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2007 in Challenge, Realizations, Simplified

 

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